“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” — Osho
I thought Mother’s Day would be the perfect time to share this quote that I had found a while back. It is something that resonates with me deeply and felt it deserved a place in the journal.
A huge sense of relief came over me the moment I read this. The whirlwind of emotions I had felt throughout my first year of Motherhood were finally put into words. I was struggling with letting go of my old self.
Prior to welcoming Jake into this world, I had no idea how much of a change it would be. I was 35 and only had to care for myself and the business. Especially my first baby, AvaFlora. That was my main focus every waking hour of my day for close to 6 years. Then overnight a huge new responsibility was in my arms that I wasn’t prepared for. I mostly struggled with the balance of it all. Giving care and attention to Jake, the business, and if there was any bit of time left, myself and Mike.
I’ll never forget the day Jake was born. The first time I saw his face and cradled his head into the palm of my hand as they laid him on my chest. Telling the nurses “He’s cold!”. That was when my instinctual love and care became present. However, there were other skills I quickly realized I needed to learn. Patience, kindness, empathy, selflessness. Combined with my new found oversensitivity (that I didn’t ask for). Needless to say the first year of being a Mother was overwhelming not only physically but more so emotionally. I was constantly questioning the type of person I was. How can I be the best version of myself for Jake?
I’ve always referred to Motherhood as “growth”. Whatever feels like it doesn’t come naturally will over time. As you and your baby start to form your own bond and language. An understanding of one another. Like all worthwhile things in life, it is a journey. The woman Jake needed me to be was there all along. All I had to do was let go of my old self.
Sharing some images below from a shoot when Jake was 5 weeks old. Photography Cadence Kennedy.